Last week, I touched upon Grady's schizophrenic tendency to play with his hallucinations. But I suppose his condition would better be described as multiple personality disorder. Grady has at least two identities that control his behavior, I'll name them Professor Grady and Mr. Hyde.
Professor Grady is kind, gentle, and smart. He wears tweed coats with leather elbow patches and smokes a pipe while having in-depth discussions about the meaning of life. He's pretty mellow and likes the company of good friends. Especially human friends who scratch behind his ears and give him treats.
Mr. Hyde, unfortunately, is a holy terror. He's paranoid, angry, and abusive. He wears a black hooded cloak and eye liner and runs through the streets at 3 AM screaming obscenities. He hates people, yet instead of removing himself from social situations, he seeks people out only to hurt them. He especially likes scratching and biting.
Very early Tuesday morning, Mr. Hyde was on the prowl. My alarm had gone off at least twice and I was still in bed trying ignore the day. Laying under my warm comforter, I heard the sounds of tiny feet on their way up the stairs, and as usual, I got excited. It's a special treat to have Grady in the bed and he looks so cute when he's curled up and cuddly.
If my life were a movie, the pitter pattering of Grady's feet would have been heard over a background of scary violin music foreshadowing what was about to happen.
It was actually Mr. Hyde who jumped onto the bed. When I reached out to pat his little head, he let me know it was him by swatting at me with his claws, so I backed off. Except the only way to "back off" while in bed was to put my arm down. Apparently that was not far enough away for Hyde's liking. His eyes got huge, his ears perked up, and all of a sudden he lunged forward and sunk his teeth into my triceps. I screamed in pain and pushed him away, but he was persistent and tried attacking me again. He finally jumped off the bed and ran away while I sat there cursing him and holding my bleeding arm.
I wish there was an easier way to identify which personality Grady is controlled by at any given moment. Right now, I've only been learning by scratches and bites.
4 comments:
May I suggest a spray bottle full of water? It works wonders for the teeth in the triceps.
There are usually subtle cues about which personality you're seeing, but it's hard to notice them in the dark, or at least before the scratching and biting! I'm glad at least that when Bill is annoyed, he growls and runs away from us, but the water bottle had a lot to do with that. Good luck!
Sherlock does this too, though not as frequently anymore. I grab him by the scruff and toss him away. He hates it, so he tends not to mess with me as much.
I think the water bottle could work. I've tried it before under different circumstances, but it looks like I'll need to invest in one for every room of the house.
ACW, it's good to hear I'm not alone. Maybe Grady will learn eventually.
Tippy used to do that, then one night, years and years ago, she was sleeping by my feet, and I had a nightmare and sort of did this jump-twist-kick thing and rocketed her into the closet. I heard this "Mrreooooo--" *thud* "--ow..." and Tippy stumbled out and has avoided the bed from then out.
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